Scooby Dooby Ikea

Now you see me, now you see me...again!

So, today i made a pilgrimage to the Church Of Latter Day Flatpacks, or Ikea as some people like to call it.

Now, i do enjoy going to Ikea, but it's a train journey, then a bus journey away from my house. So it's not a weekly occurence, which means that i'm not exactly au fait with the store layout.

This resulted in my visit turning into a mashup of being an extra from an escher painting and a character from every Hanna Barbera cartoon you ever did see.

I had strolled in through the big revolving door thing, and yes, i'm still a bit nervous of those, a hang up from watching too many public information films as a kid, i suppose, and then picked up my pencil, map, and big yellow bag. So far so good.

Up the stairs and through the entrance beside the restaurant...and thats when i lost all sense of direction.

I knew where I wanted to be, which was the picture frames department. I thought i knew how to get there - the map having already been folded up and crammed into a pocket. So, on i marched, weaving between zoned out people hypnotised by moulded plastic and multicoloured tealights. A few minutes later, after following the arrows i popped out through the archway...

...into the restaurant!

Okay. I'll try again.

Through i marched, skilfully manoevring between the same people still entranced by the same plastic...maybe i was operating on a different time level. Maybe those people were employed by ikea just to stand there like an artistic piece. I strolled past cushions, then tables, sofas, kitchens, bedrooms, cushions, tables, sofas, kitchens, bedrooms, cushions, tables...oh no, i'm stuck in a loop, like those escher characters climbing stairs and walking round, never getting to their destination. I started to think i may be giving off signals that i might be lost, so i began to do that thing that every lost person does - i started to pick up and look at the plastic things.

Not just picking up plastic things, but stroking the fabrics, and squeezing the cushions..."uh oh, i thought..."next i'll be sitting at the desks rearranging things and testing how smoothly the drawers roll shut".

I began to saunter, nonchalantly...VERY...nonchalantly...ON PURPOSE!!

I eventually found an archway to walk through, and arrived at the...

...restaurant!

To my left were the stairs.

​Stairs!

That's when i realised Ikea is on 2 levels...the frames were on the lower level.

Doh!!

Time to go get framed!

Have a sweet night and i'll see ye tomorra!

Davy Brodie
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